January 31, 2008
I don't know if I'm happy. Mostly this past month I have not been, I've been.. complacent. Allow me to explain, I've been depressed, In an attempt to not be so depressed I tried to accept some of the things that get me down. This moves me from "oh f#$^@#$ I just want to die" to "eh I guess I get by this way". The problem is that I'm still not happy or content because I'm not living the life I want to live, the life I used to live, or a life that's particularly healthy. I have woken up a bit to the fact that I've really let myself go, both physically and mentally this past year, or so. If I do not fix my health, education, and job problems, it will kill me. It's also completely unfair to my significant other.
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It has become clear to me that Britney Spears is an agent of the US Federal Government, or if not the government then at least some political entity like the GOP, or heck even "Big Oil". Her job is to distract all of us from the war. What war? why the one in Iraq that you don't hear much about these days. I oppose the war, and I'd like to know if progress has been made. Are we near an end? Are we killing fewer civilians? Who knows? All the "reliable" (and not so reliable) news sources are still taking about Britney Spears.
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It has become clear to me that Britney Spears is an agent of the US Federal Government, or if not the government then at least some political entity like the GOP, or heck even "Big Oil". Her job is to distract all of us from the war. What war? why the one in Iraq that you don't hear much about these days. I oppose the war, and I'd like to know if progress has been made. Are we near an end? Are we killing fewer civilians? Who knows? All the "reliable" (and not so reliable) news sources are still taking about Britney Spears.
January 01, 2008
I only made two posts in 2007. Amazing.
I'm not where I want to be at present. As I mentioned in my previous post, 2007 really sucked. I lost a good job, I found my self in a spiral of despair and rut. I turned to working nights in retail, and I remain there to this day. A combination of a poor circadian rhythm, laziness, and depressed outlook continued to hold me back for the last several months. Recently I've began searching for answers. Prayer and meditation have brought me nearer to a better mindset, now I need to take action and find a better job. I've applied and been accepted as a transfer student at KU. getting a degree should do much good in getting back on my feet. It will take a while but I think going back to school might be a catalyst or springboard I need to be more productive in general.
Here's a year in review. Not in chronological order, One of the great things about having a blog is that you can look back on important events. This only works when I update regularly, I'll remind myself that in 2008. My ... intention has always been to have one post per week, 50 post per year should be par.
I had a good job, and I lost it. Bad luck? Bad choices? Doesn't matter now, for some time and even now on occasion the turn of events haunts me.
I became an uncle. My brother and his wife had a baby. When the baby was to be baptized, my brother converted to Catholicism. I was quite surprised. Before he and his wife were married, he seemed quite adamant about not converting because he didn't believe in the dogma and mysticism. (side note; "dogma" and "mysticism" are not words in my brother's vocabulary.) I felt that he was either selling out, or his principals never meant that much to begin with. Some time later, I mentioned my surprise to my father. He explained to me that during the pre-conversion counselling, that my brother was taught that he need not follow the catholic traditions, in which he didn't agree. I thought it was a bit sacrilegious to convert to a religion "à la carte". (Interestingly, some time later, some one had told me, in a way, that I'm not a Christian. Because, according to this person, you have to take an all or nothing approach to the Bible. To shorten a long explanation, and give example, I don't agree with Paul when he states that women should be silent in church (1Co 14:34). The point I'm trying to get to is that I realized that I was perhaps to quick to judge my brother in his denominational choice. I still dissagre with his course of action, but I realize that from another person's perspective I've done the same thing(s).
I moved into a new apartment, and out of that horrible place that was the retirement community. We should have moved much earlier than we did. The arrangement there paid our rent, but we're much happier with the independence in our new place.
I adopted a new rat. Vernie and I have rats. We've had rats for over a year now. It's really a shame I've not mentioned them before in my blog because I could have gone on and on about how great a pet that rats can be. The first two were adopted when Vernie had a rat lab in one of her classes. The first rat, Stu, was Vernie's rat for the lab, and the second one, adopted a week or so later, (which we named Rowan) was part of the same class assignment. All three of the rats we have are Sprague-Dawleys, and live in a home-made cage kept in our office. When we introduced Stu and Rowan to each other it was a pretty peacefull encounter. There was some challenges of dominance, but nothing to cause concern. With the third rat, Wilson, we had some problems. We kept Wilson separated from the other two for a few days as recomended on various rat care websites. However, Stu and Rowan were not very receptive of Wilson. Thankfully there's been few serious injuries and nothing long lasting. Rowan had a bite on his belly that became infected and required a trip to the vet. The three rats mostly get along pretty well, though there's still occasional scuffles. As far as we can tell Wilson gets a little jumpy if he hasn't had his out-of-cage exercise and becomes more likely to cause problems with the other two, who are now over the hill and sleep more than they did when they were a year younger at Wilson's age. (side note; Stu and Rowan still wrestle a bit as rats naturally do, however now that they're older it resembles a couple of old men trying to one-up each other at basketball or some other sport that neither of them can really do any more. It once resembled Greco Roman Wrestling but now it's quick exchange of hand-slaps with seemingly mutual truce, as if they tire quickly and need to catch their breaths.
A lot happened in 2007, The year of the pig is wrapping up, I say good riddance, though there were many positives sprinkled throuout, my path was mostly in the wrong direction. The year of the rat is approaching, that sounds promising.
I'm not where I want to be at present. As I mentioned in my previous post, 2007 really sucked. I lost a good job, I found my self in a spiral of despair and rut. I turned to working nights in retail, and I remain there to this day. A combination of a poor circadian rhythm, laziness, and depressed outlook continued to hold me back for the last several months. Recently I've began searching for answers. Prayer and meditation have brought me nearer to a better mindset, now I need to take action and find a better job. I've applied and been accepted as a transfer student at KU. getting a degree should do much good in getting back on my feet. It will take a while but I think going back to school might be a catalyst or springboard I need to be more productive in general.
Here's a year in review. Not in chronological order, One of the great things about having a blog is that you can look back on important events. This only works when I update regularly, I'll remind myself that in 2008. My ... intention has always been to have one post per week, 50 post per year should be par.
I had a good job, and I lost it. Bad luck? Bad choices? Doesn't matter now, for some time and even now on occasion the turn of events haunts me.
I became an uncle. My brother and his wife had a baby. When the baby was to be baptized, my brother converted to Catholicism. I was quite surprised. Before he and his wife were married, he seemed quite adamant about not converting because he didn't believe in the dogma and mysticism. (side note; "dogma" and "mysticism" are not words in my brother's vocabulary.) I felt that he was either selling out, or his principals never meant that much to begin with. Some time later, I mentioned my surprise to my father. He explained to me that during the pre-conversion counselling, that my brother was taught that he need not follow the catholic traditions, in which he didn't agree. I thought it was a bit sacrilegious to convert to a religion "à la carte". (Interestingly, some time later, some one had told me, in a way, that I'm not a Christian. Because, according to this person, you have to take an all or nothing approach to the Bible. To shorten a long explanation, and give example, I don't agree with Paul when he states that women should be silent in church (1Co 14:34). The point I'm trying to get to is that I realized that I was perhaps to quick to judge my brother in his denominational choice. I still dissagre with his course of action, but I realize that from another person's perspective I've done the same thing(s).
I moved into a new apartment, and out of that horrible place that was the retirement community. We should have moved much earlier than we did. The arrangement there paid our rent, but we're much happier with the independence in our new place.
I adopted a new rat. Vernie and I have rats. We've had rats for over a year now. It's really a shame I've not mentioned them before in my blog because I could have gone on and on about how great a pet that rats can be. The first two were adopted when Vernie had a rat lab in one of her classes. The first rat, Stu, was Vernie's rat for the lab, and the second one, adopted a week or so later, (which we named Rowan) was part of the same class assignment. All three of the rats we have are Sprague-Dawleys, and live in a home-made cage kept in our office. When we introduced Stu and Rowan to each other it was a pretty peacefull encounter. There was some challenges of dominance, but nothing to cause concern. With the third rat, Wilson, we had some problems. We kept Wilson separated from the other two for a few days as recomended on various rat care websites. However, Stu and Rowan were not very receptive of Wilson. Thankfully there's been few serious injuries and nothing long lasting. Rowan had a bite on his belly that became infected and required a trip to the vet. The three rats mostly get along pretty well, though there's still occasional scuffles. As far as we can tell Wilson gets a little jumpy if he hasn't had his out-of-cage exercise and becomes more likely to cause problems with the other two, who are now over the hill and sleep more than they did when they were a year younger at Wilson's age. (side note; Stu and Rowan still wrestle a bit as rats naturally do, however now that they're older it resembles a couple of old men trying to one-up each other at basketball or some other sport that neither of them can really do any more. It once resembled Greco Roman Wrestling but now it's quick exchange of hand-slaps with seemingly mutual truce, as if they tire quickly and need to catch their breaths.
A lot happened in 2007, The year of the pig is wrapping up, I say good riddance, though there were many positives sprinkled throuout, my path was mostly in the wrong direction. The year of the rat is approaching, that sounds promising.
December 06, 2007
it's snowing.
I'm not dead.
Occasionally I succumb to peer pressure, and post to my blog.
2007 really kicked my ass. I'll be glad to see it gone.
I have to go to the bank, and wal-mart, and the post office. but don't want to leave the comfort of my chair.
To summarize, my family is crazy, my job sucks, temp agencies are a joke, gas is expensive, my ears still don't work, water is wet.
I'm not dead.
Occasionally I succumb to peer pressure, and post to my blog.
2007 really kicked my ass. I'll be glad to see it gone.
I have to go to the bank, and wal-mart, and the post office. but don't want to leave the comfort of my chair.
To summarize, my family is crazy, my job sucks, temp agencies are a joke, gas is expensive, my ears still don't work, water is wet.
February 24, 2007
February 21, 2007
I can never find time to post it seems...
I started a post about a week ago and diddn't finish it, I think it's saved as a draft but I couldn't be bothered to go and edit it, I have a mere ~5 inutes left in my lunch break.
It snowed for Valentines day .. and it snowed again a few days later. and today it's over 60º. Vernie has stated that she is not fond of the way the temperature flucuates greatly from day to tday in this part of the country.
I got her some organic free-trade chocolate truffles this year, sthey were about a week late because I had trouble ordering them. (Valentines day landed on a wednsday, they shipped from CA and I can't call long distance from work. .. oh and I tried to save ^$ by phoning in my order rather than going online) Anyway they finnally arrived and Vernie sees to love them.
In other news my old friend The Captian, expressed that he is joining the Army. He's nuts, yes. I am not going to talk him out of it, he hasn't been able to hold a job.... ever, and this might be good for him. He is currently too overweight (but just barely) to join, and I havn't heard from him in over a month so I have no idea what his status is at this point.
Veronica and I have had several discussions about what his problem is, I try to tell him but it's clear that from his perspective he's doing things right. Things will work out for him eventually, so I don't intend to critisize him too much, yet it's irritating to hear him complain (mostly on his myspace blog) about the same sort of thing over and over.
Most of his complaints deal with women. All of his frustrations can be broken down to two source problems.
1) he dosn't know what he wants. This is quite common among all people and all items of desire. But it's especially true in young people and potential mates. There is nothing wrong with not knowing what you want, but understand that you';re not going to get it untill you can define it. "I'll knw it when I see it" is not going to get y ou anywhere you want to be for any streach of time.
2) He's fishing in the wrong end of the pond. He does not realize the patern forming. The only type of woman h4e will snag are the crazy bitches he's accuired in his previous two relationships. A woman who wants some one like him will not be found in the places he's looking unless she's a crazy bitch.
A third potential problem, is that he's playing games but loosing them. The games are based on rules he's set up for himself to facilitate finding some one who won't burn him with her own games. But I belive that deep down, it stems from items 1 and 2, He's reaching out for something that feels right without knowing what he's after (or at least not defineing it) and hew's not yet aware that he was burned by crazy bitches. In the unlikely event he finds someone , who like himself, is fishing on the wrong end of the pond, and is looking for someone like him, he will probably shove her on her way with a anti- crazy bitch game.
I started a post about a week ago and diddn't finish it, I think it's saved as a draft but I couldn't be bothered to go and edit it, I have a mere ~5 inutes left in my lunch break.
It snowed for Valentines day .. and it snowed again a few days later. and today it's over 60º. Vernie has stated that she is not fond of the way the temperature flucuates greatly from day to tday in this part of the country.
I got her some organic free-trade chocolate truffles this year, sthey were about a week late because I had trouble ordering them. (Valentines day landed on a wednsday, they shipped from CA and I can't call long distance from work. .. oh and I tried to save ^$ by phoning in my order rather than going online) Anyway they finnally arrived and Vernie sees to love them.
In other news my old friend The Captian, expressed that he is joining the Army. He's nuts, yes. I am not going to talk him out of it, he hasn't been able to hold a job.... ever, and this might be good for him. He is currently too overweight (but just barely) to join, and I havn't heard from him in over a month so I have no idea what his status is at this point.
Veronica and I have had several discussions about what his problem is, I try to tell him but it's clear that from his perspective he's doing things right. Things will work out for him eventually, so I don't intend to critisize him too much, yet it's irritating to hear him complain (mostly on his myspace blog) about the same sort of thing over and over.
Most of his complaints deal with women. All of his frustrations can be broken down to two source problems.
1) he dosn't know what he wants. This is quite common among all people and all items of desire. But it's especially true in young people and potential mates. There is nothing wrong with not knowing what you want, but understand that you';re not going to get it untill you can define it. "I'll knw it when I see it" is not going to get y ou anywhere you want to be for any streach of time.
2) He's fishing in the wrong end of the pond. He does not realize the patern forming. The only type of woman h4e will snag are the crazy bitches he's accuired in his previous two relationships. A woman who wants some one like him will not be found in the places he's looking unless she's a crazy bitch.
A third potential problem, is that he's playing games but loosing them. The games are based on rules he's set up for himself to facilitate finding some one who won't burn him with her own games. But I belive that deep down, it stems from items 1 and 2, He's reaching out for something that feels right without knowing what he's after (or at least not defineing it) and hew's not yet aware that he was burned by crazy bitches. In the unlikely event he finds someone , who like himself, is fishing on the wrong end of the pond, and is looking for someone like him, he will probably shove her on her way with a anti- crazy bitch game.
December 31, 2006
For Auld Lang Syne
It's the end of 2006. We've seen a lot this year, I quit my job at the hospital. I moved to Kansas. I worked at wal-mart for a bit. I got a new job. My buddy the Captian got divorced. Brittney spears got divorced. The croodile hunter, Steve Irwin, died. Brittney spears showed the world her naughty bits (*shudder*). Gerald Ford died. Saddam Hussien was excecuted.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2006
Wikipedia has everything.
I think over all 2006 treated me well. I diddn't update my blog much this year, but for once the huge gaps in my blog were because I was preocupied with other things, not because something was wrong with my head.
I think 2007 will be more of the same... and while that's not ideal, ther's something to be said about not wishing for huge improvement.
And this concludes the last update of 2006.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2006
Wikipedia has everything.
I think over all 2006 treated me well. I diddn't update my blog much this year, but for once the huge gaps in my blog were because I was preocupied with other things, not because something was wrong with my head.
I think 2007 will be more of the same... and while that's not ideal, ther's something to be said about not wishing for huge improvement.
And this concludes the last update of 2006.
October 15, 2006
I survived the first two weeks of my new job. Survived is a little strong, it was nice. I don't want to imply that my new job is easy, it's not. However it does suit me much better than the old job at the Hospital in Nebraska. I won't bother to go on about how much better the new job is than wal-mart.
Vernie and I have been in a relationship for two years as of this weekend.
Time has a way of getting away....
Vernie and I have been in a relationship for two years as of this weekend.
Time has a way of getting away....
September 16, 2006
Job, good.
I put in my two week notice at wal-mart last night. it felt good. I have a new job for a better organization, I start the 2nd of October. My new job is a lot like my old one but this time no helpdesk, thus no phone, so it's much better. I'm sure I'll have to use the phone on occasion but it's not a primary job requirement.
Wal-mart has been burning me out. My .... escape, is timely, I don't feel that I could have taken much more of it. I'm not sure if it was the over night shift, or the borring repeitive work that gets to me. Part of it is the fact that no one at wal-mart cares about what kind of job you do. You can do something half-assed or wrong, and that's ok, as long as you follow orders without question. Chances are they'll tell you to do the wrong thing anyway, so you'll have to do something over. It's job security I suppose, you'll always get your 40 hours per week that way, but I can't help but wonder if they could pay us more if the workers were more effecient.
A couple weeks ago I read an article in the paper stating that wal-mart was raising wages through the state, but not here. Why? I can only suspect that it's due to the large number of college students willing to work for less. "Oh you won't work for $6.40 an hour? Well, we have college kids lining up outside the door that will."
I won't miss wal-mart.
Wal-mart has been burning me out. My .... escape, is timely, I don't feel that I could have taken much more of it. I'm not sure if it was the over night shift, or the borring repeitive work that gets to me. Part of it is the fact that no one at wal-mart cares about what kind of job you do. You can do something half-assed or wrong, and that's ok, as long as you follow orders without question. Chances are they'll tell you to do the wrong thing anyway, so you'll have to do something over. It's job security I suppose, you'll always get your 40 hours per week that way, but I can't help but wonder if they could pay us more if the workers were more effecient.
A couple weeks ago I read an article in the paper stating that wal-mart was raising wages through the state, but not here. Why? I can only suspect that it's due to the large number of college students willing to work for less. "Oh you won't work for $6.40 an hour? Well, we have college kids lining up outside the door that will."
I won't miss wal-mart.
